Insomnia & Sleep Rebellion
- Rachel D. Mark
- Jan 17
- 6 min read
Thanks, I Hate It
It's 4:06 am
Me: *trying to fall back to sleep*
ABSOLUTELY NO ONE: ...
Brain: You know what you are?
Me: Don't.
Brain: I know just-
Me: STOP
Brain: ...
Me: Please no...
Brain: BOY DON'T TRY TO FRONT OH I KNOW JUST JUST WHAT YOU AH AH AH-
Me: ...*deep reluctant groan* ...you, ya, you are.
Brain: YOU, YA, YOU ARE!
Both: WOMANIZER. WOMANIZER. WOMANIZER OH!
Insomnia SUCKS!
Like many neurodivergent folks, I've struggled with insomnia since early childhood. Falling asleep, staying asleep, and restful dreams have always been an illusion, a fictitious ambition I've been chasing my whole life. Not to mention that dreaded sleep rebellion!
What is Sleep Rebellion?
I'm currently in the throws of a rebellion cycle, which is always a bit embarrassing as a neurospicy life coach with “ALL THE ANSWERS” (Joking! That is a joke, obviously). But honestly, it's such a deeply universal struggle.
For those that don't know the term, sleep rebellion is that stubborn, “you can’t make me” energy that kicks in when you finally have quiet, autonomy, or relief after a long day of demands. It's a dash of PDA (Pathologically Demand Avoidance - or Pathological Desire for Autonomy).
Instead of resting, your brain decides now is the time to scroll, tinker, think, or exist loudly in defiance of structure. Even when we know what helps, our nervous systems still push back sometimes. This is not a moral failure! It's a very human response to pressure, burnout, and needing more agency than the day allowed.
Caring for Your Future-Self
I talk to myself, a lot! There is a solid body of psychological research showing that the way we perceive and relate to our future self actually matters for motivation, self-regulation, and long-term decision making. Developing a relationship with your future self is one of the most quietly powerful shifts you can make. Instead of treating the future as an abstract problem you will deal with later, this practice builds empathy across time. When you think about future you as a real person with needs, limits, and feelings, small choices start to change. (Search terms: ADHD future self-continuity).
In other words, when you think of your future self as someone you care about, not just an abstract idea, it influences how you act today. Wind-down routines stop being rules you should follow and become acts of care you offer someone you genuinely want to support. This is not about rigid self-discipline or optimization. It is about trust, continuity, and learning to work with yourself rather than against yourself. Over time, this relationship creates less internal conflict and more follow-through, because you are no longer sacrificing yourself now for a stranger later.
Having regular conversations with you past, present, and future selves can help bridge the continuity and reduce rebellion cycles.
Future-self Example:
For one simple example, the alarms (9pm, 9:30pm, 10pm) I set for wind-down is a message from my future self: "My luv, please take your meds now, so we'll have a better morning! -xoxo Tomorrow Rachel."
I have to change these alarms often to keep them "alive," and I usually write them in the mornings, talking to myself the night before (Past Rachel) with as much love and encouragement as I can, but sometimes a little snark is in order!
Create a Wind-down Menu
🌙 Ease Into Ritual🌙
I encourage clients to think ritual (or menu) rather than routine. A ritual honors the transition from day to night without turning sleep into another performance metric. You are not trying to “win” bedtime. You are creating a consistent signal of care and closure. Even if sleep takes time, your nervous system still benefits from the rhythm.
⏳ Option 1: Transition Time
Falling asleep isn’t like flipping a switch, it’s more like dimming a light. If your mind races at
night or feels "stuck in gear," creating intentional transition time can make all the difference.
Build Your Sleep Buffer
Give yourself 30–60 minutes of winddown time before getting in bed.
Set an alarm or reminder to start your routine, just like you would for waking up.
Avoid back-to-back stimulation (like ending work and jumping into bed).
Begin by turning down the lights (literally and figuratively).
Dim your screens after 9pm or use blue light filters like Night Shift
🧠 Option 2: Declutter the Mind with a Brain Dump
Racing thoughts often stem from unfinished mental loops. Our brains are often trying to be helpful. It does not want you to forget something important, so it keeps looping, ruminating, scripting, and cycling to keep important pieces of information in mind. Doing a quick handwritten journaling session before bed can help.
A simple brain dump tells your mind, “I’ve got this covered.” Writing things down, especially by hand, creates relief because your thoughts are stored somewhere other than your head. Once they are captured, your brain does not have to guard them all night.
✍️ The Brain Dump Exercise:
Grab a notebook and pen (avoid typing if you can).
Set a timer for 5–10 minutes.
Without judgment, write down every thought swirling in your head:
tasks, worries, memories, “don’t forgets,” or random thoughts.
Optional: add a quick to-do list for tomorrow so your brain knows it’s captured.
Let your journal hold your thoughts so your mind doesn’t have to.
💤 Option 3: Try Cognitive Shuffling (See last Page Resource)
When your brain is stuck in problem-solving mode, logic alone will not calm it. Cognitive shuffling works because it gently disrupts those patterns without demanding focus or effort. Imagining random, emotionally neutral things gives your brain something to chew on while letting go of urgency. This mirrors the kind of loose, wandering thinking that naturally happens as we fall asleep. This technique helps quiet mental chatter by confusing the brain just enough to disrupt anxious patterns.
🧩 How to Do It:
In your mind, think of random, unrelated words—like “apple, lamp, river, book.”
Slowly imagine each one with sensory detail.
Keep going, letting the words become more random.
If your brain drifts, gently return to the shuffle.
Resource: Cognitive Shuffle DIY Technique
📱 Option 4: Stimulation & Gentle Focus
A lot of us are told they need total quiet to sleep, but silence can actually make the brain louder. Our brains often crave activity, even during rest. The key is to give it low-stakes, gentle tasks to hold its attention without spiking anxiety or energy.
Gentle focus gives your mind a soft landing place. Sleep stories, guided meditations, yoga-nidra, or simple low-pressure games offer just enough engagement to keep anxiety from taking over without revving you up. This is not a crutch. It is a support.
Try These Soothing Options:
Guided sleep meditations (Apps like Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace)
Watching your favorite, comfort show (Dim your screens blue light after 10pm, and put the volume low, just enough for you to follow.)
Sleep stories (Podcasts like Nothing Much Happens or Sleepy)
Yoga-nidra (Body scan meditations that induce deep rest)
Simple phone games with no time pressure or bright visuals (ex: Sudoku, Picross,
digital coloring)
Ambient noise or brown noise machines
️Final Thoughts
I encourage clients to think ritual, not routine. A ritual honors the transition from day to night without turning sleep into another performance metric. You are not trying to “win” bedtime. You are creating a consistent signal of care and closure. Even if sleep takes time, your nervous system still benefits from the rhythm.
Additional Tips:
Start dimming lights after dinner to cue your nervous system that rest is coming
Avoid TV or social media 30 minutes before bed (even the "soothing" scroll can backfire)
Hope this helps! If you've found things that work for you, I'm always excited to add on-to this growing menu. Send me a message through the contact page, and share how YOU'D like to be credited. <3
Rest well friend,
--Rachel
