ADHD Friendly Gardening - Part III: Overwhelm/Burnout
- Mar 24
- 8 min read
Updated: Mar 28
Welcome back to AuDHD Friendly Gardening! For anyone jumping in here: this series grew out of an interview with Insa, The Garden Witch - a fellow neurodivergent, garden coach, and the brilliant mind behind Spite & Bloom, a newsletter for gardeners who want to grow things without it becoming another source of stress or shame.
If you missed Parts I and II, go back and start there - we covered getting started, designing for your worst days, and building routines that don't collapse the first week you're busy.
Part III: Overwhelm/Burnout/Losing-interest - “When Your Energy Doesn't Match Your Plans”
This is the one I needed most! We're talking about the difference between overwhelm, burnout, and actually being done with something (they are not the same thing), the signs you've overcommitted before your nervous system has to tell you the hard way, and how to recover from a failed project without letting shame eat the whole experience.
Insa: What are the key differences between overwhelm, burnout, and losing interest?
Rachel: These get conflated a lot. FIRST, before we get too deep into this, check The Pressure Gauge (aka Overwhelm Scale) and rate your current state from 1-10.
Storytime: Rachel vs The Goats
Sometime around 2024, I became a goat person. My neighbor showed up one day with five Nigerian Dwarf / La Mancha mix kids and I said yes the way I say yes to most things - before my prefrontal cortex could weigh in.
We named them after GOATs (Greatest Of All Times), obviously: Kurt Cobain, Wayne Gretzky, Tony Hawk, Mel Brooks, Michael Jordan, and Bobby Fischer. Six tiny legends. Six. Tiny. Idiots.
The first thing I learned is that male goats PEE ON THEIR OWN FACES, which is apparently just a normal thing they do, and which no one mentioned to me at any point during the handoff. The second thing I learned is that keeping goats is a part-time job with a zero-dollar salary and a truly unhinged commute - because they would get out of their pen, walk literal miles, and turn up on neighbors' properties like they were on a wellness retreat. I would physically relocate them, watch them trot back into the pen, sit down at my desk... and there they were, in my garden, eating my vegetables down to the stalks. Eventually I was forced to admit to myself (what I probably knew from day one): I did not have the bandwidth. I was totally overwhelmed. It took a week or so to find them a new forever home. The garden eventually grew back. And my house smelled like goats for months.
Here's how I think about the key differences:
Overwhelm is acute. Too much input, too many demands, not enough processing
time/bandwidth. It's loud. It feels like everything is happening at once and none of it is getting handled. Resolution: reduce inputs, slow down, pick one thing. Oftentimes we also need external support because we struggle to prioritize, so phone a friend/therapist/coach and get eyes on your project. Shutdown new inputs, brain dump tasks, identify cyclical dependencies and blockers, prioritize items (1-4), create an order of operations, name support needs, schedule time blocks, and let go of the things that can wait.
Burnout is chronic depletion. You kept running on fumes until the fumes were gone. It's quiet in a scary way and you can't access the care you need. It requires actual rest, not a nap. Recovery is measured in weeks/months (sometimes years), not hours/days.
Getting stuck is when your brain has hit a wall or friction point - a decision that feels too big, a task that requires a skill you don't have yet, a step with no clear next action - and it's reporting "I don't want to do this anymore." That report is not accurate. It's protecting you from the discomfort of the hard part. If someone solved the stuck part for you right now, would you want back in? Yes means you're stuck. No means you might actually be done - and that's a different conversation.
Losing interest is the brain's signal that something is no longer the right fit - or was never the right fit. It's not always bad. Sometimes it's useful data. The issue is that ADHD brains lose interest in the friction parts of projects we actually love, and that can look the same as genuinely being done. Again, try to separate "lost interest" from "hit a wall." The diagnostic question: if the hard part was solved for you, would you want to be back in this project? Yes → it's probably overwhelm or burnout. No → you might actually be done with it.
Insa: What's your approach when someone loses interest halfway through a project they genuinely cared about?
Rachel: First I really encourage folks to separate "lost interest" from "hit a wall."
Losing interest is real. It happens all the time as ADHDers cycle through our myriad of passions. The question is whether the project is actually over or whether I hit a friction point that is solvable.
I did not lose interest in the garden, I lost access to the energy required to maintain it. That's a different problem. Once I solved the maintenance problems I could delegate (drip system, timer), I needed to build more support structures around the maintenance tasks I was dropping by, for example, scheduling recurring weekly body-doubling time with friends.
If the project genuinely is over that's allowed too. Not every project is supposed to finish and we need to take some time to grieve and then allow ourselves to move on. I talk about Project Grief in a blog post (LINK HERE).
Insa: What usually leads to overwhelm, and what are some signs neurodivergent folks can watch for that might indicate they've overcommitted?
Rachel: LACK OF PROGRESS, and the project starts to feel like dread instead of excitement. That’s it. Put a deadline on things like: plants in the ground. If you keep missing this basic deadline then you likely bit off more than you can chew.
Analysis paralysis & over preparedness is where perfectionism thrives, and your planning and preparing more than actual execution. When the research has become its own project, separate from actually gardening -- like researching companion plants at midnight instead of being outside during the day -- something is off! Over intellectualizing and second guessing everything is a coping mechanism to protect ourselves from failure. Get over the failure part and get messy. Kill some plants. You’ll be SO much more productive.
Learning more than one new system per season is probably too much (maybe three max!). If you need a spreadsheet to manage your garden in year one you've likely overcommitted. Don’t believe me? Hit me up in the fall with proof of your success, and then tell me what other parts of your life you sacrificed.
Insa: What helps when everything feels equally important and it's hard to prioritize?
Rachel: I ask: what dies if I don't do it today?
That's not meant to be dramatic. It's a triage tool. Plants actually die without water and nutrients. The seed mapping can wait. The companion planting research definitely can wait.
For neurodivergent brains, everything can feel equally loud and equally urgent - which is executive dysfunction, not reality. The "what dies today" question is a way to cut through the noise and find the one actual action.
Insa: When plants fail or motivation dips, what's a compassionate recovery strategy that's less likely to trigger shame?
Rachel: Reframe it as data (before the shame spiral gets going).
The garden I killed last summer - I did not let myself stay in "I killed my garden." I went to "I now have specific information about what my brain needs to make this work." And then I built the drip system.
The failure contains the instructions.
This is not toxic positivity. I am not saying "everything happens for a reason!" I am saying: the failure contains the instructions. The trick is getting to the instructions before shame turns the whole thing into evidence about your worth as a person.
Also, practically: smaller stakes = faster recovery. One dead tomato plant is recoverable. Betting your entire emotional investment on a full garden in year one is a setup for devastation!
Start smaller than you think you need to.
The ADHD Shame/Burnout Cycle
Again, check The Pressure Gauge (aka Overwhelm Scale) and rate your current state from 1-10. Often times we lean-in to over commitment, and start taking on MORE things as we get busier, because we feel the wins and smaller accomplishments of clearly defined tasks.
Recommended resource: Dr. Janina Maschke's post on recharging the ADHD brain adhdempowermentcoaching covers seven strategies for preventing burnout - things like mindful breaks, human connection, nature therapy, and setting boundaries - basically all the stuff nobody told us we needed to build into our lives on purpose. I wish someone had handed me this list twenty years ago, because it turns out "just push through it" is not a strategy, and most of what I thought was laziness was actually a chronically depleted brain that never learned how to actually rest.
In Summary
Here's what I want you to walk away with from this whole series: your garden - and honestly, every project your neurodivergent brain takes on - will go better when you stop fighting your own wiring and start designing around it. Automate the boring stuff.
Start smaller and messier.
Keep checking your Pressure Gauge (aka Overwhelm Scale)
Reframe the failures before the shame spiral gets there first.
And when you lose steam, ask the real question: did I lose interest, or did I just hit a wall? Because those have very different solutions.
What’s Next? Do THAT!
Before you hyper-focus your way into over commitment, here's the ADHD Friendly Gardening checklist you actually need to get started this summer without overwhelming your nervous system or setting yourself up for the shame spiral when life gets busy. Keep it small, solve the boring stuff first, and get your hands dirty before you have all the answers!
ADHD Friendly Garden Startup Checklist:
Before you buy a single seed:
⬜ Solve your watering/fertilizer FIRST - drip kit + manual timer (skip the wi-fi ones, trust me)
⬜ Ask yourself: what part of this is most likely to fall apart when my attention disappears? Build that system now.
When you're ready to plant:
⬜ Grab paper and a pencil - draw a basic map of your bed BEFORE you plant anything
⬜ Fill it in AS you plant (future you will absolutely not remember)
⬜ Pick 3-4 plants to start - Start with plants that are forgiving of intermittent attention - tomatoes, squash, herbs
Building your maintenance system:
⬜ Habit stack your garden check onto something you already do daily (coffee, morning walk, etc.)
⬜ Set a recurring body-double session with a friend at least one-day a week
⬜ Calendar reminder: check timer/drip system weekly
⬜ Use this body-doubling time to weed & prune
Sanity checks:
⬜ Are you researching at midnight instead of planting during the day? Scale back.
⬜ Do you need a spreadsheet to manage year one? You've overcommitted.
⬜ Does thinking about it feel like dread? Start smaller.
Special Thanks!
And a final, enormous thank you again to to Insa at Spite & Bloom for the interview and for giving these conversations a home.
Go show them some love! 🌱
--Rachel
